Dear Human,
You get mad at me if I wake you,
and you get mad at me if I dont!
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Sincerely, Confused Alarm Clock!
You get mad at me if I wake you,
and you get mad at me if I dont!
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Sincerely, Confused Alarm Clock!
What's the difference between people who pray in the church and those who pray in the stock market?
What's the difference between people who pray in the church and those who pray in the stock market?
The ones in the stock markets are serious!
The ones in the stock markets are serious!
When Rajnikant switch on his AC without closing the door...
When Rajnikant switch on his AC without closing the door...
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Winter starts in INDIA...
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Winter starts in INDIA...
Race With Time..
Baap Of All Rajanikanth Jokes
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Once Rajani Decided To Race With Time..
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& The Result Is
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Time Is Still Running
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Once Rajani Decided To Race With Time..
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& The Result Is
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Time Is Still Running
Plz Inform To All Ur Friends/Relatives
Plz Inform To All Ur Friends/Relatives
All Over India There Will Be
Power Failure 2Day Frm
10.30 PM - 11.30 PM
Coz
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Rajnikanth is going to Charge his Mobile
All Over India There Will Be
Power Failure 2Day Frm
10.30 PM - 11.30 PM
Coz
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Rajnikanth is going to Charge his Mobile
SWISS BANK
Once Rajnikant went 2 Switzerland and
accidentally left his wallet in a building 2 DAY THAT BUILDING IS KNOWN AS "SWISS BANK"
accidentally left his wallet in a building 2 DAY THAT BUILDING IS KNOWN AS "SWISS BANK"
Can't beat this one
| Can't beat this one Rajnikanth's dog's house has a signboard on it, saying.. . . . . . . . Maalik Se Sawdhan! |
RECENTLY there was a fight between Rajanikant and a Tiger..
RECENTLY there was a fight between Rajanikant and a Tiger..
Surprise, surprise... Rajnikanth ran away from there
Why?
To Save d Tiger..
Only 1400 r left!
Otherwise u know Rajnikant....
Surprise, surprise... Rajnikanth ran away from there
Why?
To Save d Tiger..
Only 1400 r left!
Otherwise u know Rajnikant....
Reporter to Rajnikant: how many jokes have been made on you till now?
Reporter to Rajnikant: how many jokes have been made on you till now?
Rajni: only 2 or 3.
Reporter: only 2 or 3?
Rajni: enna RASCALA! Rest all are facts!
Rajni: only 2 or 3.
Reporter: only 2 or 3?
Rajni: enna RASCALA! Rest all are facts!
RECENTLY CHINA AIRPORTS WERE CLOSED DUE TO HEAVY FOG
RECENTLY CHINA AIRPORTS WERE CLOSED DUE TO HEAVY FOG
LATER IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT RAJANIKANTH WAS SMOKING IN INDIA !
LATER IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT RAJANIKANTH WAS SMOKING IN INDIA !
Titanic
Rajnikanth's next project... Titanic in Tamil.
Climax revised, Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other!
Climax revised, Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other!
Ronaldo: Me agar football ko laat mari to wo 3months gol gumti rahega...
Ronaldo: Mene agar football ko laat mari to wo 3months gol gumti rahega...
Rajnikant: Yanna Raskalla,
Tumko pta h prithvi abtak gol Q ghum rhi h...
Rajnikant: Yanna Raskalla,
Tumko pta h prithvi abtak gol Q ghum rhi h...
1 baar ek judge ne RAJNIKANT ko crime karte hue dekh liya
1 baar ek judge ne RAJNIKANT ko crime karte hue dekh liya.
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Tabse kanoon andha ho gya.
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Tabse kanoon andha ho gya.
GDP
Pranab Mukherjee was damn right when he said GDP will rise this year.
Only thing is we forgot to ask him its full form!
G= Gas
D= Diesel
P= Petrol
Only thing is we forgot to ask him its full form!
G= Gas
D= Diesel
P= Petrol
In an exam a student who wasn't prepared
In an exam a student who wasn't prepared,
left the page blank, and at the bottom drew flower and wrote....
"In the memory of my memory, which recently passed away!"
left the page blank, and at the bottom drew flower and wrote....
"In the memory of my memory, which recently passed away!"
Few years before people use to wake up 1st see GOD's image thru prayer.
Few years before people use to wake up 1st see GOD's image thru prayer.
But now a days people wakeup & 1st see how many Notifications, Messages & Pokes in FB these days!
But now a days people wakeup & 1st see how many Notifications, Messages & Pokes in FB these days!
Husband and wife were waiting at the airport.
Husband and wife were waiting at the airport.
Husband: i wish i'd brought the T.V. with us
Wife: what makes u say that?
Husband: i left the plane tickets on it.
Husband: i wish i'd brought the T.V. with us
Wife: what makes u say that?
Husband: i left the plane tickets on it.
Dedciated To MAzloom Mashriqi Shoher
Husband: Aaj khane mein kya banaogi?
Wife: Jo aap kaho
H: Dal chawal bana lo
W: Abhi kal hi to khaye the
H: To sabzi roti bana lo
W: Bacche nahi khayenge
H: To chhole puri bana lo
W: Mujhe heavy heavy lagta hai
H: Anday Aaloo bana lo
W: Subah Nashtay main phir kya Khao gay
H: Paraathe?
W: Raat ko paraathe kaun khata hai??
H: Hotel se mangwa lete hain?
W: Roz roz hotel ka nahi khana chahiye
H: Karrhi chawal?
W: Dahi nahi hai
H: Mattar?
W: Usme time lagega.pehle bolna chahiye tha na!!
H: Maggi hi bana lo, usme time nahi lagega
W: Woh koi meal thori hai? Pet nahi bharta
H: Phir ab kya banaogi?
W: Wo jo aap kah
Husband: Aaj khane mein kya banaogi?
Wife: Jo aap kaho
H: Dal chawal bana lo
W: Abhi kal hi to khaye the
H: To sabzi roti bana lo
W: Bacche nahi khayenge
H: To chhole puri bana lo
W: Mujhe heavy heavy lagta hai
H: Anday Aaloo bana lo
W: Subah Nashtay main phir kya Khao gay
H: Paraathe?
W: Raat ko paraathe kaun khata hai??
H: Hotel se mangwa lete hain?
W: Roz roz hotel ka nahi khana chahiye
H: Karrhi chawal?
W: Dahi nahi hai
H: Mattar?
W: Usme time lagega.pehle bolna chahiye tha na!!
H: Maggi hi bana lo, usme time nahi lagega
W: Woh koi meal thori hai? Pet nahi bharta
H: Phir ab kya banaogi?
W: Wo jo aap kah
Bond meet and greet a Tamil Guy.
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Bond: My name is Bond. (Smiles and then says) JAMES BOND! And what's your name?
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Tamil Guy: I am Sai...
Venkata Sai...
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Shiva Venkata Sai...
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Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai...
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Lakshmi Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai...
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Srinivasalu Lakshmi Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai...
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Rajashekara Shrinivasalu Lakshmi Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai...
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Sitaraman Rajashekara Shrinivasalu Lakshmi Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai...
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Bond: My name is Bond. (Smiles and then says) JAMES BOND! And what's your name?
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Tamil Guy: I am Sai...
Venkata Sai...
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Shiva Venkata Sai...
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Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai...
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Lakshmi Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai...
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Srinivasalu Lakshmi Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai...
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Rajashekara Shrinivasalu Lakshmi Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai...
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Sitaraman Rajashekara Shrinivasalu Lakshmi Narayana Shiva Venkata Sai...
7 So True Fact About Women
Believe It
1. Most Important Thing For
WOMEN Is FINANCIAL SECURITY !
2. Although This Is Important,
They Still Go Out & Buy
Expensive Clothes !
3. Although They Always Buy
Expensive Clothes , They Never
Have Anything To Wear !
4. Although They Never Have
Nothing To Wear They Always
Dress Beautifully !
5. Although They Always Dress
Beautifully , They Are Never
Satisfied !
6. Although They Are Never
Satisfied, They Always Expect
Men
To Compliment Them !
7. Although They Expect Men To
Compliment Them, When They
Do
They Don't Believe Them ...
Believe It
1. Most Important Thing For
WOMEN Is FINANCIAL SECURITY !
2. Although This Is Important,
They Still Go Out & Buy
Expensive Clothes !
3. Although They Always Buy
Expensive Clothes , They Never
Have Anything To Wear !
4. Although They Never Have
Nothing To Wear They Always
Dress Beautifully !
5. Although They Always Dress
Beautifully , They Are Never
Satisfied !
6. Although They Are Never
Satisfied, They Always Expect
Men
To Compliment Them !
7. Although They Expect Men To
Compliment Them, When They
Do
They Don't Believe Them ...
4 out of every 5 girls' statuses (every now n then) reads like:
Awwww!!!♥ ♥ today had loaadsss of fun with Nisha, Isha, Misha & Gusha ♥♥...also stay at Dundu's house wass awesumm...thnk u shoo muchh Dundu :))) u r shoo shweet !! cant frget u guyyysss...:D :D and Tuttuu ...will missh u shoo muchh :(( :(( ...hugss..(other blah blahs) ♥♥ !!
which is followed by (God knows for what) 135 likes and 842 comments!!!
Awwww!!!♥ ♥ today had loaadsss of fun with Nisha, Isha, Misha & Gusha ♥♥...also stay at Dundu's house wass awesumm...thnk u shoo muchh Dundu :))) u r shoo shweet !! cant frget u guyyysss...:D :D and Tuttuu ...will missh u shoo muchh :(( :(( ...hugss..(other blah blahs) ♥♥ !!
which is followed by (God knows for what) 135 likes and 842 comments!!!
Height Of Positive Attitude -
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I’ll Not Say I Failed 1000 Times
I’ll Say That I Discovered 1000 Ways That Can Cause Failure!!
-Thomas Edison
HEIGHT OF Chillness:
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Entering Late In The Class Without Permision & Saying To Mam . . . . SWEETIE, CARRY ON. DON’T STOP FOR ME
“HEIGHT OF BADLUCK”
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A Person Who Dials A Number (Written Wid Lipstick On A Phone Booth) & . . . . . His Wife Recieve D Phone!
Height of Dreaming:
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Mr. Bill Gates coming to me and asking For Windows XP disc!
Height of confidence:
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A 99 yrs Old lady Buying a Lifetime Sim card.
Height of stupidity:
Writing ur Lover's Name in Hand with Blade, and suddenly
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A Spelling Mistake!
Height Of patriotism:
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Sitting on English toilet in Indian style!
Height of Time Pass:
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Calling Pizza hut and asking for Domino's number!
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I’ll Not Say I Failed 1000 Times
I’ll Say That I Discovered 1000 Ways That Can Cause Failure!!
-Thomas Edison
HEIGHT OF Chillness:
.
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.
.
.
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Entering Late In The Class Without Permision & Saying To Mam . . . . SWEETIE, CARRY ON. DON’T STOP FOR ME
“HEIGHT OF BADLUCK”
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.
.
.
.
.
A Person Who Dials A Number (Written Wid Lipstick On A Phone Booth) & . . . . . His Wife Recieve D Phone!
Height of Dreaming:
.
.
Mr. Bill Gates coming to me and asking For Windows XP disc!
Height of confidence:
.
.
.
.
A 99 yrs Old lady Buying a Lifetime Sim card.
Height of stupidity:
Writing ur Lover's Name in Hand with Blade, and suddenly
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A Spelling Mistake!
Height Of patriotism:
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Sitting on English toilet in Indian style!
Height of Time Pass:
.
.
.
Calling Pizza hut and asking for Domino's number!
A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane. He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.
"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care or the economy when you don't know crap?"
Then she went back to reading her book.
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs 4 her husband.Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once.
TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD!
WHERE r we going 2 get MORE BUTTER?
They're going 2 STICK! Careful . CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL!
U NEVER listen 2 me when u're cooking! Never!
Turn them! Hurry up! r u CRAZY?
Have u LOST ur mind?
Don't forget 2 salt them. You know u always forget that. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!
The wife stared at him. "What is wrong with you? You think I don't know how 2 fry a couple of eggs?"
The hsband calmly replied, "I just wanted 2 show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
AFTER ENGAGEMENT:
SHE: I waited so long for this.
HE: Do U want me to leave?
SHE: No. never!
HE: Do U love me?
SHE: Yes I did, I'm doing & I'll do.
HE: Did you ever cheat me?
SHE: I would rather die than to do it.
HE: Will you kiss me?
SHE: Surely, it's my pleasure.
HE: Will you hurt me?
SHE: No way, I'm not such a kind of person.
HE: Can I trust you?
SHE: Yes.
HE: Oh, Darling!
To know AFTER WEDDING:
>>Read from bottom to top<<
SHE: I waited so long for this.
HE: Do U want me to leave?
SHE: No. never!
HE: Do U love me?
SHE: Yes I did, I'm doing & I'll do.
HE: Did you ever cheat me?
SHE: I would rather die than to do it.
HE: Will you kiss me?
SHE: Surely, it's my pleasure.
HE: Will you hurt me?
SHE: No way, I'm not such a kind of person.
HE: Can I trust you?
SHE: Yes.
HE: Oh, Darling!
To know AFTER WEDDING:
>>Read from bottom to top<<
Prince Taneja
Ek poet Garibi se tanng Aake daku ban Gaya..Dakaitii karne Ek bank me gaya Aur kaha....
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Arz hai...
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Takdir me jo hai woi milega...
......HANDS UP.
koi Apni jagah se nai hilegaa...
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Phir Cashier se kaha.
Kuch khwab meri Aankho se nikal do..
Jo kuch b hai is bag me daal do...
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Bahut koshish krta hu teri yad bhulane ki..
Koi koshish na kare Police ko bulane ki...
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Bhula de mujhko kya jata hai tera...
Goli maar dunga..jo kisi ne picha kiya mera :p :D
Ek poet Garibi se tanng Aake daku ban Gaya..Dakaitii karne Ek bank me gaya Aur kaha....
.
Arz hai...
.
Takdir me jo hai woi milega...
......HANDS UP.
koi Apni jagah se nai hilegaa...
.
Phir Cashier se kaha.
Kuch khwab meri Aankho se nikal do..
Jo kuch b hai is bag me daal do...
.
Bahut koshish krta hu teri yad bhulane ki..
Koi koshish na kare Police ko bulane ki...
.
Bhula de mujhko kya jata hai tera...
Goli maar dunga..jo kisi ne picha kiya mera :p :D
Teacher:Tum bade hokar kya karoge?
Student:Facebooking Karunga
T:Nahi mera matlab hai kya banoge?
S:Facebook pages ka Admin banunga
T:Oho I mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?
S:Facebook Admin Rights
T: IDIOT Mera mtlb bade ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?
S:Facebook par Page bnaunga 'I ♥ MOM & DAD'
T:Stupid tumhare papa tmse kya chahte h ?
S:Mere Facebook ka Pasword
T:Hey Allah,tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
S:Facebook,but never Face ur Book:P ;)
Student:Facebooking Karunga
T:Nahi mera matlab hai kya banoge?
S:Facebook pages ka Admin banunga
T:Oho I mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?
S:Facebook Admin Rights
T: IDIOT Mera mtlb bade ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?
S:Facebook par Page bnaunga 'I ♥ MOM & DAD'
T:Stupid tumhare papa tmse kya chahte h ?
S:Mere Facebook ka Pasword
T:Hey Allah,tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
S:Facebook,but never Face ur Book:P ;)
Ladies ke sath log kaise baat karte hai
Petrol Wala: Kitna Dalu ?
Dhobi: Aap Kapde Nikal Ke Rakho, Mai Abhi aata hoon....
Xerox Wala: Aage Piche dono Taraf Se Karu, Ya Sirf ek Side Se...
Fruit wala : Kele ka size to dekho, dil khush ho jayega.....
Bank wala : So so ke du tu chalega ?
Auto wala : Aage se nahi jayega, pichese lu ?
Paper wala : Kal me neeche se dal ke gaya tha..
Petrol Wala: Kitna Dalu ?
Dhobi: Aap Kapde Nikal Ke Rakho, Mai Abhi aata hoon....
Xerox Wala: Aage Piche dono Taraf Se Karu, Ya Sirf ek Side Se...
Fruit wala : Kele ka size to dekho, dil khush ho jayega.....
Bank wala : So so ke du tu chalega ?
Auto wala : Aage se nahi jayega, pichese lu ?
Paper wala : Kal me neeche se dal ke gaya tha..
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